My partner Andy and I were walking down a street in
Fremantle recently and I was thinking about how uncomfortable I was feeling. I
felt fat, sluggish and a little pissed off that I hadn’t slept well the night
before.
I was whinging.
I was uncomfortable in my own skin. I wanted to run away
back to somewhere where I felt more comfortable. But where? Back to the hotel
room to drink more wine and eat outrageously expensive Pringles from the mini
bar? I couldn’t do that, it was only 9am!
Then it hit me. Instead of wanting to run off to be
‘comfortable’ somewhere else, why don’t I just be comfortable where I am? All
it takes is for me to shut the fuck up from telling myself how uncomfortable I
was.
So I rested in that thought for a bit, felt the tension
throughout my body especially my shoulders and then relaxed them. I brought my
attention back to where I was and released the inner bitching.
Wherever I am, I have to be there. If I’m walking, I can’t
be running off to somewhere else in my mind as I might get hit by a bus or I
might miss some incredible piece of wisdom the universe is trying to send to
me.
I have to surrender my mental desire to be somewhere apart
from where I am. Sure you need to plan and be organised (to a certain
degree) but if I can be comfortable where I am and learn to open up to the
possibilities of what’s right in front of me, then life should be more
interesting.
Be comfortable where you are. (Except if you’re about to
eaten by a Lion or appear on some reality TV show, then run like the bloody
wind.) But if there’s still something that doesn’t feel right even after
dropping the self talk, then that’s a sign to move on or out. Then you’re
listening to your inner self as opposed to your neurotic thoughts.
It’s something that I’m constantly learning to do and not
always successful at, but I’m going to keep trying. It’s worth it for my own
sanity.
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